One, there are some absolutely incredible students on campus that pour in so much of their time to serve others and the college. I am blessed to have a few good friends who for the last three years have played in Alternate Chapel with me and used their gifts to serve the Lord and others around them. These same people joined me on stage Friday and they each have a special place in my heart.

Two, I really sensed the Spirit prompting me to focus on God’s love. I felt that students here needed to be reminded that “[His] love never fails, it never gives up, it never runs out on [them].” So we sang about that. We poured our hearts into the worship and in the end, I think, were amazed by His love.

Three, everyone has a story. I’ve known this for a long time because I have one too, but as the pictures scrolled in chapel I realized that there are still so many stories I haven’t heard but want to hear. There are so many of my classmates that I may never see again after these next two weeks. But the best part about it is, though it’s sad I may not see them, I know the Lord has great things in store for their lives because they have been challenged and changed by Bethel College.

Lastly, Bethel College is a place of progress. Where people come and go but they don’t leave the same as they once came in. Growing as a student is important, but evenmoreso, developing into a whole spiritual being is what Bethel is really about. And this school is a BLESSING to anyone who wants to attend. I want everyone to hear about Bethel College. I want everyone to consider this school and I desire that someday soon I can share my “story” or shall I say journey through Bethel and allow others to stand in awe of how GREAT our God is.

It’s going to be so hard to say goodbye.

The rest of my Friday was spent in Indianapolis at a Writing Center conference with a few others tutors and our director. We had the opportunity to attend but also present a study we did on the effectiveness of the Writing Center. It was a really interesting conference and I took a lot out of it, a lot of new ideas and practical steps I can take as a tutor to improve my own session. But, nonetheless, I celebrated my birthday with some pretty awesome people. They took me out to dinner at TGIF and  then we went back to the hotel and played some intense card games (well, they were only intense because I was playing. I’m too competitive). Overall, my birthday was a blast, though it was spent differently than past years.

It’s weird because I don’t feel any different, any older than I did two weeks ago. I guess that’s how birthday’s go. You just add a digit and then you are idenified as “older.” But, I don’t mind being 22. In fact, I like it better than 21 because it’s all even numbers . Anyhow, it’s time to start counting down the days until I graduate. Ican’t believe it’s April already. 27 more days…Perhaps the day I walk across the stage with a degree will be the moment I feel older or just hit with the reality that I’m on my own officially.For now, I’m taking school, church, life, etc one day at a time. In this next month there’s a lot to do, but also a lot to celebrate (besides birthday’s).

I’m a year older and there’s a month left of school!!! Let the countdown begin…

See, the transition into this place wasn’t simple nor will the transition be as I leave. I’m going to miss this place. I’m going to miss my friends and professors. I’m going to miss leading alternate chapel and playing intramurrals. Ok, I have to stop because I’m starting to tear up. That’s enough for now…more to come as I spend my last month caught up in the spirited connections at BC.

What an incredibly busy time of the year it has come to be within the last week. Projects are due, papers need to be written, research must be done. There’s a plethora of assignments to complete. I know I’m not the only one in this situation, for a lot of my friends are just as frantic as I. It’s part of college–stress and busyness–however, it doesn’t have to be that way forever. In fact, it’s actually rather refreshing to be stressed on such a beautiful campus as Bethel. When I need a break, I take a long walk around the campus boundaries, down to the River Walk, and splash my feet in the water. Or even better, I grab a blanket and situate myself right down by Bethel’s very own ponds, the Bethel Beach. There are many places to “get away.”

It has been hard in the midst of the chaos to see the light at the end of the tunnel or shall I say the walk toward graduation! But today, a professor challenged me to wake up every morning and tell God what I am thankful for–to not only inhale His goodness but then exhale my gratitude. In doing so, my mind can be retrained to see my present circumstances differently.

I wasn’t sure if I was well equipped for the challenge when he first presented it to me, but I’m beginning to think it could be a valuable exercise–breathing not only to maintain life, but breathing to express thanks to God. I like it!

And…

It’s not every day that one gets the opportunity to gather with 40 other leaders in an intimate setting to worship together, collaborate ideas, and develop close friendships.

But…

I had this incredible opportunity at the start of my spring break, thanks to one of my professors who nominated me, to attend the Missionary Church Emerging Leaders Summit. It was here I had many encounters, some with new people, some with God’s nature and creation, and others simply with God.

Honestly, I went into this summit believing that as a leader if I make mistakes that I am less worthy of His love, His grace. But, God shattered that lie that’s straight from the pit of Hell and reminded me that I am worthy because I am His. He doesn’t make His creation worthless. And in the end, I learned that leadership…well, it’s not about me, it’s that God chose me. He chose me to be a leader–on Bethel’s campus, at Nappanee Missionary Church, etc. He chose me! How incredible!!!

And the best part of it all is leadership is not based on who you are but who God is. I think someone else needs to hear that today–maybe you who are reading this. I know I needed to.

I am blessed by my encounters with people; I am blessed by my encounters with God. And I’m honored to say I have met so many new, incredibly passionate leaders for the Lord.

Look out! This generation is about to RISE UP!

Community is something I’ve learned a lot about at Bethel, and I think it’s safe to say events like Battle of the Bands are a great way to showcase community in a different form.  In fact, I think there’s a lot to be said about music and community. Maybe I’ll write a book about it. Seriously, I think this event prompted, even sparked, some new stories to be written. I shall go and attempt to write my first one now. Perhaps it will be shared later on this blog or in my humanities project or in the book I will someday publish and expect you–my few readers–to buy.

Audrey Assad came to Bethel’s campus to lead us in worship during chapel, share her story, but also give a free concert later in the evening. I cannot explain how blessed our campus was to have this woman of God speak truth into our lives through word and through song. As she lead Healer, my favorite worship song, during chapel, I had a profound moment. God really spoke to my heart as we belted the words, “Nothing is impossible for You. You hold my world in Your hands.”  I was brought to His throne with this new revelation. As often as I’ve sung this song and have meditated on the words–they didn’t hit me like this before. I finally got it into my head that NO situation, NO circumstance, NO suffering is too much for God to handle. He literally holds me in His hands and blesses me. WOW! Big moment for me.

Later that evening, she led another song called Hungry Heart by Bruce Springsteen. Originally I thought, “interesting choice,” considering the song is about a divorce. But, then she explained the chorus. “Everybody’s got a hungry heart. Everybody’s got a hungry heart. Lay down your money and play your part. Everybody’s got hungry heart.”  There’s something about those words, and witnessing the passion behind those words as she sang them, that gave me a new perspective on some songs I sing. I learned I need to be more open to what ALL musicians have to offer; I learned that I too have a very ‘hungry heart’ for a God that is not only my Healer, but my Protector. I better go learn this song!

We talked about being obedient to God. What the next simple step is that will bring Him great joy in my desire to please Him. Then he handed me a prayer to read, a prayer to meditate on.

MY LORD GOD, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you. And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing. I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire. And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road, though I may know nothing about it. Therefore I will trust you always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death. I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to face my perils alone.
- Thomas Merton, “Thoughts in Solitude”

This prayer now hangs next to my bed. I pray it every night. I’m trying to memorize these words so I can keep them close to my heart. In fact, I think every college student should have this prayer memorized.

Lately, I’ve been prompted to a new passion. I’m not sure what to make of it yet, but the Lord keeps laying it on my heart. I went to Passion 2012 over Christmas Break and there we talked about it. A few days later a speaker came in to Bethel speaking about the same issue. And yet again, this past week for the World Christian Action Conference the speaker hails from an organization working directly with it. The other night I even had a scary, but rather eye opening dream about it. And I believe through each of these events God is speaking to me. I don’t believe this is a coincidence, but a divine calling perhaps. So what is this passion I am talking about? Freeing slaves from sex trafficking.

A few months ago God gave me a picture of me unlocking padlocks, chains (not literal), and helping others break the bonds in their life from the ties in their past. I am not sure if that’s even what He has in store for me in this “call”–if I can call it that. I am still processing this whole thing. And if I can be honest, I am scared. I am so afraid that I am not good enough or equipped enough for a battle as big as this. 27 million slaves are stuck in the sex trafficking business. But my heart cries FREEDOM, FREEDOM, FREEDOM, for each individual who is without a name. I’ve donated financially and I thought that would be enough to please God, but for some reason He keeps drawing me back to this issue. I don’t know where to go from here except to keep praying, keep seeking, and respond accordingly. I will spend time in prayer and maybe as I practice my daily “sacraments” He will once again speak to my heart.