DO YOU KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS!?
I was walking through the AC after my Oral Interpretations class had ended, planning to go to the computer lab to finish printing the necessary documents for my education portfolio. I had just pulled out my phone to text my roommate about getting dinner when I saw it. It was only a glimpse of a full color flyer out of the corner of my eye but I knew in a moment what it was. I threw my phone back into my pocket and rushed to the sign displaying a boy wearing a cape and holding a huge super-soaker. The word “AMBUSH” was scrawled across the top. Not gonna lie, my heart jumped a little.
Okay, so if you’re a loyal reader (which I’m sure you are) you probably read about my last Ambush experience. (But in case you haven’t…http://www.bethelcollege.edu/blogs/?p=4590 ) (And if you’re thinking, “What is this crazy chick going on about?”… http://www.bethelcollege.edu/blogs/?p=4537 ) Let me tell ya, that is NOT going to happen again this year! You know why? I’ve devised the perfect plan…
The Outline to My Perfect Ambush Plan:
Step 1- Deter Facebook Creepers. The first thing I did last year when I got my name for Ambush was rush to the library to look up the unfortunate soul on Facebook. I figured this was a sure-fire way to figure out what they looked like, who their friends were, what their major was… then I realized I was not dealing with some random amateur. This year, before Ambush even starts, I’ll be changing pictures, my name, my major, my hometown, my interests… anything that could potentially make me an easy target.
Step 2- Abandon all Habits. While I like spontaneity, I’m a horrible creature of habit! Every Monday/Wednesday/Friday I eat at the same place with the same people at the same time. And THAT is what will get you Ambushed! The trick is to be as inconsistent as you can possibly be. A week of being 30 minutes early to class won’t kill ya.
Step 3- Just Go For the Kill. Half the problem is the hesitancy before going for the shot. It’s of the utmost importance that if you see your target, and you think you’re within range, you just go for it. Of course, if you miss, then they’ll know who you are and your chances of catching your target have pretty much gone down the drain.
Step 4- Trust No One. I have a particular friend who sold someone out last year. What did I learn from that? When your casual lunch conversation over your buffalo chicken salad begins to get a bit too personal and questions start flying about who has whom, you’re best bet is to run for it. I don’t care if it’s the kid who sits three seats down in psychology, your roommate, or your mother; loose lips get you shot!
You may be thinking to yourself, “Whoa, Tammi. Aren’t you taking this a little far?” The short answer: absolutely. But hey, isn’t that half the fun?